is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
