Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize