So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
