The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
