im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Threesome in a minivan. New low
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
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