Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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