somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
