One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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