No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
