She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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