it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
