you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
