Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
