She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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