Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Randomize
