Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I love having hate sex.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
