May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
