CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
