Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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