It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
