My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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