Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
