I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
