Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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