I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
