I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
