you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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