I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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