We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize