I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
