sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
