I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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