okay pat passed out under dana's car
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
