i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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