and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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