so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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