just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize