You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
