Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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