Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh god it's open bar.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
