walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
