smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
