Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
