grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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