she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
