the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize