And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
