Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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