last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
