I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize