WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
