so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize