OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
