my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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