I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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