So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize