I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
