I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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