Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
