are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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