As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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