ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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