This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
