All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
