I think I died a long time ago.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think a kid would responsible me up
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
