Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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