How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
