Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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