I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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