we have officially lost it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
