let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
