I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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