I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
