So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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