my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
